About a Girl


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This is about a girl.

I miss waking to a new day and the first thing I see is her sitting on the floor at the foot of her bed doing her hair and makeup.
While I’m sound asleep in her bed or rapping to a song over the radio while driving she takes out her phone, takes a picture of me without my knowledge, and posts it on her snapchat account.
I miss her heart; larger than the open blue sky and brighter than any headlights. A forgiving heart- warm and soft- and safe.
She holds me when I fall apart.
She’s stronger than anyone I know- able to survive any situation which arises.
She tells her friends my secret: I’ve read all of Nicholas Sparks books, and I love the Notebook.
When she looks in the mirror- inspecting herself- she puckers her lips, full and soft to touch, and its the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
She allowed me in; showing me her joy and teaching me about her pain, her courage I envy.
As she sleeps I sometimes watch her, at rest and venerable, and I wonder how I became so lucky.
I’ll lay in bed will she sits Indian style next to me, eating cereal and for some reason just watching her makes me smile.
She always thinks of me; I always think of her.
She’s spontaneous- accompanying me to see my favorite band perform live in Connecticut- with less then 24hr notice. I was never happier and it’s because she joined the family that day.
She was proud.
If she didn’t push me to do it, I would have never joined the Union and she would never have jumped with joy when I read the letter aloud.
Most importantly, the space and acceptance she gives me for my thoughts, actions, and resentments I have with my mother. She speaks to me about her as I she knew her before mom passed away. She volunteers with me and understands the importance of the relationship I keep with my mother.
She consoles me at times that I need consoling, and I do the same for her.
She reminds me of my mother, with her love of life and her ability to be available for the times of my imperfections.

… About a Girl

Author: Jake Mitchell

Writing nonfictional & brutally honest experiences, stories, & events, from my life; both before, during, and following my intense destruction of myself and the people who were around me. All because I lived a life of lies, manipulation, and self-imprisonment, just a few of the many truths when you're an Active Addict. Although I'm very blunt, I tend to (or at least try to) write as humble, selfless, & full of gratitude, while sharing some of the tragedies and situations which most likely occured due to my addiction and the way I exsisted during that time of my life, as I only cared about and fiened for my next high or score. Please comment on any material I post. Although I'm quite ashamed and embarrassed for most of the actions, decisions, and outcomes, that happened during my torturous years of Active Addiction, I don't regret any of it. Now, by writing about these true stories and events, I'm hopeful another addict can relate to my pain, distress, and the Hell of using drugs. This HELL, becomes therapeutic and important for my recovery, reminding me that I am not the o my person who has ever done or thought these things. And through relating, I may be able to help another addict.

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