My Romeo & Juliet Heartbreak

Another month wasted; I, the culprit and only I can blame myself for this loss. Being an addict, I go overboard with about anything and everything I do. Especially with my emotions.

Love bares many masks. Mine so different then the rest but o’ just the same. When you love someone like I do, unconditionally and sometimes pathetically, you can’t help the overwhelming resentments you hold against yourself when you (I) act in a way to not just ruin the most beautiful thing since last seeing your mother alive, but knowing how right the love actually is.

I tend to stand in denile with most things but this I can not bare; the pain. The loss. The yearning. Just wanting to smell her skin or simply hold her hand. I could settle on seeing her smile or hearing her voice one last time. Endless thoughts of what could’ve been and what should be now. Though I’m most certain I’m not only at fault in this, I also know the things I have done, or not done in this case, have resulted in a misunderstanding between two beautiful people, myself and her, which others should never judge or become cynical but watch from afar as we mend things that are broken but can be repaired.

I’m a lost for words so I can only use a song verse that was written from me to her decades before either of us met:

“I can’t do everything, but I’ll do anything for you. I can’t do anything accept be in love with you”

I love her and she misunderstands me. I love her and i want to talk. Good things, no matter what speed bumps occur, do not end suddenly. Not even death resides in sudden change of heart. Love is factual. Love doesn’t diminish overnight or because of anger. If you love me, as I do love you, then defeat and opinion do not stand a chance. Only WE do…

My heart aches cause it’s torn. And I am the one who tore it again.

I Love You…

Author: Jake Mitchell

Writing nonfictional & brutally honest experiences, stories, & events, from my life; both before, during, and following my intense destruction of myself and the people who were around me. All because I lived a life of lies, manipulation, and self-imprisonment, just a few of the many truths when you're an Active Addict. Although I'm very blunt, I tend to (or at least try to) write as humble, selfless, & full of gratitude, while sharing some of the tragedies and situations which most likely occured due to my addiction and the way I exsisted during that time of my life, as I only cared about and fiened for my next high or score. Please comment on any material I post. Although I'm quite ashamed and embarrassed for most of the actions, decisions, and outcomes, that happened during my torturous years of Active Addiction, I don't regret any of it. Now, by writing about these true stories and events, I'm hopeful another addict can relate to my pain, distress, and the Hell of using drugs. This HELL, becomes therapeutic and important for my recovery, reminding me that I am not the o my person who has ever done or thought these things. And through relating, I may be able to help another addict.

7 thoughts on “My Romeo & Juliet Heartbreak”

    1. Things escalate way too fast with us. It doesn’t mean there bad, as long as we don’t hurt each other. But our situations- good or bad- don’t have a set speed limit. That’s why the good is good, and the bad is bad. But because we are different from the neighbors or a friend we knows relationship doesn’t mean that were wrong. It’s just how it’s done between us right now. At least we acknowledge it. At least we know we can do better and why not do better with each other, since that is what we’ve wanted to have work out in the first place? I’m not going to hurt you like your not gonna hurt me. You and i can conquer the world together; we don’t need fast tempers, quick reactions, or heat of the moment thoughts, to define what we are. What we are is not- has beens or couldve beens. What we are is two people that want things to work out between us.


    1. I believe that once you aquire an honest love towards someone, when your heart dances if she’s happy and it aches if she’s upset, then recovery from a bad or unhealthy situation can be done. 50% of it is a desire to stay with each other and immediately mend what’s broken while the other half is a simple faith that today is the same as it was fifty years. People say if it was meant to be its meant to be but I say if you want something then go get it because I’ve passed up too many good things in life so far and some of those decisions I regret for I’ve lost greatly from it. I don’t want to lose someone like this, even if she might have Givin up already…

      Thanks for your comment!..


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